The Flight of Dipper's
by RockSunner
Summary: What if the infinity-sided die had transported people to the world of Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons, instead of the other way around? Inspired by "The Flight of Dragons." Spoilers for DDaMD.
1. Roll Play

What if the infinity-sided die had transported people to the world of Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons, instead of the other way around? Inspired by "The Flight of Dragons." Spoilers for DDaMD. All characters belong to Disney and Rankin/Bass Productions, not me.

 **The Flight of Dipper's**

 **Chapter 1 – Roll Play**

Ford and Stan were arguing about the use of the living room. Would Dipper and Ford continue to play DD&MD, or would Stan, Mabel, and Grenda get to watch Ducktective?

"It's my house." Ford sighed, and said, "Listen, Stanley, did it ever occur to you to if you joined us you might actually have fun?"

"What? Now you listen to me!" said Stan, grabbing Ford's bag of dice. "As long as I live I will never..."

"Grunkle Stan, wait!" called Dipper.

"...ever..."

"Stanley!" said Ford.

"...Play your smartypants nerd game!"

Stan threw the bag of dice to the floor, and the infinity-sided die rolled out.

"No!" cried Ford.

A brilliant flash of blue light flooded the room.

* * *

Dipper woke up. He was lying on his belly in the forest.

"Hmm, the dice must have transported me out into the woods, " he said to himself. "It could have been a lot worse."

He started to push himself up, and discovered that his forearms were large, green and scaly. He gave a gasp of shock, and a spurt of fire came out.

"It _is_ a lot worse! I'm some kind of monster!"

"To be specific, a dragon," said another voice.

Dipper spun around and came face to face with another, older dragon.

"It's me, Dipper," said Great Uncle Ford. "The die roll turned us into dragons."

"How do we get back to normal?" asked Dipper, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

"We'll find a way. Don't worry, I've been in tougher situations over the years as I wandered between dimensions."

"Gorbasch, Smerghol, where are you?" came the voice of an elderly man from a distance. "It's me, Coralinus the Wizard."

Dipper gave a start. "Our PC character names! He knows us?"

"The infinite dice must have brought us into a dimension corresponding to our game," said Ford.

"We're in Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons!" said Dipper. "But our PC's are humans. Dragons aren't a player character class, except in the controversial 1991-1992 edition."

"An odd side-effect of the die roll, no doubt," said Ford.

"Oh, there you are," said Coralinus. He was cheerful looking wizard with a long white beard, wearing a green robe. "Gorbasch and Smerghol, the Princess Unatainabelle and I have a quest for you."

"Princess Unatainabelle!" said Dipper/Gorbasch.

"A quest?" said Ford/Smerghol.

Both said in unison, "With pen and paper, shield and sword, our quest shall be its sweet reward!"

"There's something different about you today," said the wizard. "That may be why the Antiquities have chosen you two dragons for this quest."

"What is the quest?" asked Ford.

"To take the polyhedral-headed staff away from the evil wizard Omhadawn, and prevent him from taking over the world."

"I thought only Probabilitor had a staff like that," said Dipper.

"That was his name before he suddenly had a notion to take over the world and eat all the best brains," said Coralinus. "Then he changed it."

"When do we start?" asked Ford.

"We are waiting for the third member of the party to arrive. It takes three to begin a quest," said Coralinus. "The brave knight Sir Orrin Neville-Smythe."


	2. Flight and Fright

**Chapter 2 – Flight and Fright**

The two dragons followed Coralinus back to his home, a rustic house made of wood. A beautiful woman with long, flowing blonde hair came out to meet them.

"Father, I see you have found the dragons," said the woman.

"Yes, Unatainabelle. Now all we need to do is wait for Sir Orrin," said Coralinus.

"Y-you're really Princess Unatainabelle?" asked Dipper with a stammer. "Not an illusion cast by Probabilitor?"

"I'm really me, Gorbasch," said the Princess with a smile.

"You're even more beautiful than I imagined," said Dipper/Gorbasch.

"Thank you for the compliment, Gorbasch" said Princess Unatainabelle. "But why did you say 'imagined'? You see me every day."

"I have a feeling that Gorbasch and Smerghol are not quite themselves," said Coralinus.

"That's right," admitted Ford/Smerghol. "We are adventurers from another dimension who came here by magic and ended up in the bodies of these dragons. When the quest is over, we hope to return to our own world and return your dragon friends to themselves."

"My power has been weakening as more and more men deny magic. But the polyhedral-headed staff of Omhadawn may give me the power to send you back," said Coralinus.

"What is your name, brave adventurer within Gorbasch?" asked the Princess,

"I am called Dipper," said Dipper.

"You must be a brave knight in your world, Sir Dipper," said the Princess.

"Well... it's true that have fought many monsters," said Dipper bashfully.

"I've fought many more than he has," said Ford. "My name is Sir Stanford."

"Very pleased to meet you, Sir Stanford and Sir Dipper," said the Princess.

"I hate to interrupt your conversation, Unatainabelle, but if these two are new to being dragons they should take the opportunity to recharge their fire and practice flying before the quest begins."

"Recharge our fire?" asked Dipper. "How do we do that?"

"You will need to consume fire stone in the mountains to the west. Before that, you must load your gizzards with hard diamonds. The seven dwarves who mine in those mountains will supply you with them."

"It makes sense," said Ford. "I've done research on how dragons can fly. Rocks rich in hydrated carbonates, combined with stomach acid, will produce hydrogen gas. Dragons gain lift just like blimps."

"I do not know the strange words you are using," said Princess Unatainabelle, "But dragons both fly and breathe fire after consuming fire stone rocks."

* * *

The mission in the mountains went well. On their return, Dipper was still working out how to control his flight. He let out too much fire and made a splashdown landing in the lake. Ford's knowledge and experience let him make a gentle landing.

They found an armored knight waiting for them. His hair was dark with streaks of gray.

"Hail comrades in arms, ready to set off on the quest, what? I would not have to introduce myself to the two of you if you were the originals, but since you are new to these bodies, I will. I am Sir Orrin Neville-Smythe."

"Pleased to meet you," said Ford. "You may call me Sir Stanford."

"And I am Sir Dipper, or just Gorbasch is fine," said Dipper.

Princess Unatainabelle and Coralinus came out from the house.

Coralinus handed Sir Orrin a golden shield. "This will help deflect any dark magic that Omhadawn sends at you."

The Princess gave Sir Orrin a flute. "Omhadawn commands an army of dragons and griffons, and this flute is enchanted to send them to sleep."

She also gave Gorbasch a kiss on the cheek. "Best of luck in your quest, brave Sir Dipper."

"What about me?" asked Ford.

"My best to you also," said the Princess, but she didn't kiss him.

As they set out, Sir Orrin said, "It appears the Princess is sweet on you, Sir Dipper. Were you still human, I would have to challenge you to a joust, for I have feelings for her myself."

"No need for that," said Dipper with a dragon blush on his face. "I'll be returning to my own form and my own world after the quest, so the way will be clear for you."

Ford said nothing, but he gave Dipper a jealous look. It seemed even in this place he had trouble talking with women.

* * *

As they made camp for the night, Dipper/Gorbash pricked up his ears and looked around.

"What is that sound?" he asked.

"Crickets, no doubt," said Sir Orrin. "Still, the sound is rather irritating."

The chattering sound increased, rasping into their minds.

"It can't be... they are found only by the seashore," said Sir Orrin,

"What is it?" asked Dipper. "It hurts!"

"Haven't you read the monster manual, you idiots?" asked Ford. "Sandmirks!"

Out in the woods, myriads of red eyes were staring at them.

"They attack by the thousands, and their sound drives those who hear it mad, burns out their brains. Fly and save yourselves, dragons," said Sir Orrin.

"We can't do that," said Dipper with a groan. "Isn't there any other way?"

"Try to shut out... their sound by singing. Aaah!" said Sir Orrin. "But we cannot... hold out long. Nothing living... can withstand their noise. Ooooh!"

"Then the sandmirks must be... aaah... zombies, or their sound would... destroy themselves," said Ford. "We can try..."

"Perfect three-part harmony!" said Dipper.

Dipper began to sing:  
" _Friday night_  
 _We're gonna party_  
' _Til dawn_  
 _Don't worry, daddy_  
 _I've got my favorite dress on_ ."

"I know not that song," said Sir Orrin. "Methinks it is about maidens attending a ball."

"I don't know it either," said Ford. "After my time, for sure."

Orrin sang:  
" _Sumer is icumin in,  
Luhde sing cuckoo."_

"Never heard of that," said Dipper.

"It's no use, there is no song we all know," said Sir Orrin.

"Aaah! My head is exploding!" cried Ford.

Suddenly a gray wolf dashed up to them. Instead of attacking, it threw back its head and sang in a high-pitched howl:  
" _Oh Susannah, don't you cry for me,  
I've come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee."_

Dipper and Ford knew this, and joined in with loud bass and tenor dragon voices.

The sandmirks recoiled as if struck. In bunches, their heads began exploding.

"Take that, zombie rats!" cried the wolf.

When all the sandmirks were gone, Ford turned to the wolf and said, "How did you know that song? It was a favorite of my brother and I when I was growing up."

"I thought so," said the wolf. "Was your brother named Stanley Pines?"

"Yes!" said Ford.

"That's me," said the wolf. "I got sucked into this along with you, just not as a dragon."


	3. Into the Woods

**Chapter 3 – Into the Woods**

Sir Orrin asked, "Is this wolf a friend of yours, dragons?"

"Yes, he's another person from our world, my Grunkle Stan," said Dipper.

"My brother," said Ford. "It was all because of a magic die roll. It's difficult to explain."

"Explain later, we have the sun and must press on," said Sir Orrin.

Sir Orrin mounted his steed and they prepared to go.

"Grunkle Stan, you need a player character name like us," said Dipper. "Here I'm called Gorbasch and Ford is called Smerghol."

"Arrgh," said Stan.

"That's a good wolf name," said Ford. "You will be called Arrgh."

"I meant, arrgh! I don't like this a bit," said Stan.

"Too bad," said Ford. "I've given you a PC name and you're stuck with it."

"Forward, to the realm of the red death, and the Staff of Omhadawn!" said Sir Orrin.

"Huh?" said Stan.

"We're on a wizard quest," said Dipper.

"We have to complete it before we can go home," said Ford.

"Oh, joy," said Stan.

* * *

They marched for miles before reaching a thick woods.

Stan/Arrgh pricked up his ears at the sound of a call of a wolf.

"My wolf instincts are telling me what that call means," said Stan. "It's a female, in trouble. She's protecting her cubs. I'm gonna check it out."

Stan took off into the woods.

"Wait!" Dipper called, but it was too late.

"My brother always fancied himself as a lady's man," said Ford. "If he's not careful with his wolf instincts, he'll have a whole family on his hands."

"I can't say I mind the chance to rest, though," said Dipper.

They started to settle down to wait for Stan. Then weighted nets dropped over the dragons, tangling their wings.

"What the blazes?" said Sir Orrin.

"We've got to get loose," said Ford, thrashing against the tough metallic strands of the net.

From the trees above them, golden flowers showered down.

"It's Dragon Ruin. Hold your breath, don't breathe," said Sir Orrin.

"Ugly... foul... smell," said Ford.

"Can't... stay... awake," said Dipper.

"Get 'em, guys!" shouted a deep voice.

A horde of elves began to attack. Sir Orrin fended them off as best he could, but he was getting overwhelmed by their sheer numbers.

A stream of arrows flew into the melee, pinning the elves against the trees by their cloaks. Most of the elves ran, but one larger elf remained stuck.

Stan came running back. "Not a wolf for miles," he said. "It was a fake wolf-call."

"Well, whoever helped us with the arrows, God bless him," said Sir Orrin. "He certainly can handle a longbow."

"There he is," said Stan, pointing his nose towards a figure in the trees.

"Good show, man," called Orrin. "I bow to your expertise. I doff my helmet to a better man than I."

"And I take off my hat to you," said the archer, coming forward. The archer pulled off her cap and long brown hair spilled out.

"By all that's holy!" said Sir Orrin in surprise.

"Mabel?" said Stan. "Is that you? I'm your Grunkle Stan. You look older than usual."

"Grunkle Stan? You look wolf-ier than usual."

"We got pulled into the game Ford and Dipper were playing because I rolled their magic dice, I think. They're the two dragons sleeping over there," said Stan.

"Dragons? Ooh, how cute!" said Mabel. "Which one is Dipper?"

"The smaller green one," said Stan."You wake him up and I'll wake Ford."

Mabel jumped on Dipper/Gorbasch. "Wake up, sleepyhead! Mabel is here!"

"Five more minutes, Mabel," said Dipper sleepily. "I'm too tired to play. Huh? Oh yeah, I'm still a dragon. For a minute there I thought it was all a dream."

"Nope, you're a dragon and I'm a warrior maiden," said Mabel. "I didn't know the game would be this fun, or I would have joined before. I thought it was all charts and stuff."

"It usually is, and you use your imagination for the rest," said Dipper.

"I love imagination," said Mabel.

"How did you get to be so good with a bow?" asked Stan.

"I guess all my practice with the grappling hook paid off," said Mabel.

"Pardon me, may I be introduced to this beauteous maiden?" asked Sir Orrin.

"This is my sister Mabel, also from our world," said Dipper. "Mabel, this is Sir Orrin."

"But you need a player name, too," said Ford, who had woken up by this time.

"Mabelle of the woodlands," said Mabel. "How's that?"

"Very pleased to meet you, Mabelle," said Sir Orrin.

"Hi, handsome older guy," said Mabel.

She whispered to Dipper, "I think he likes me. This is getting better and better."

"Mabel!" said Dipper.

"Hey, what about me?" called the wood elf that was still pinned to the tree.

"Who are you?" asked Dipper.

"Don't you recognize me? I'm Grenda!"

"Grenda! I'm glad to see you. I didn't recognize you; you look just like an elf," said Mabel.

Mabel helped Grenda to get loose.

"I'm tougher than the average elf," said Grenda. "So this gang of wood elf outlaws made me their leader, Grendo of the Treetops."

"Why did you attack us?" asked Sir Orrin. "For shame!"

"We saw the dragons," said Grenda. "They said they must be raiders from Omaha. Nebraska folks must be causing trouble around here."

"Omhadawn is the evil wizard's name," said Sir Orrin.

"Sorry about attacking you," said Grenda.

"Ahh, think nothing of it little fellow," said Sir Orrin. "The way things are nowadays, we all get a bit mucked up."

Grenda muttered a bit at being called a "little fellow," but soon forgot about it.

"Well, now we have everyone who was in the room when the infinity-sided die was rolled," said Ford. "Now we have a complete questing party."

"Excellent," said Sir Orrin. "We'll be delighted to have you along. Especially the fair lady Mabelle."

"Thanks!" said Mabel.

"We must now find the inn. Night is falling and we are but a day away from the Realm of Omhadawn," said Sir Orrin. "Hellsway, the last outpost of civilization before the realm of red death."

"Cool," said Grenda.

"We shall be warm there, methinks, with a good fire," said Sir Orrin.


	4. Inn Trouble

**Chapter 4 – Inn Trouble**

Back at the home of the wizard Coralinus, his ward, Princess Unatainabelle was in a trance, watching the progress of the adventurers.

"Mabelle of the woodlands has joined them, father, and Grendo, the elvin outlaw. Night is falling and they are but a day away from the realm of Omhadawn."

"Are they going straight in? I hope they do not," said Coralinus.

"No, they are stopping at an inn," said Unatainabelle.

"Hellsway," said Coralinus.

"And beyond that is a wall, with a castle guarding the gate," said Unatainabelle.

"Aye, Gormlin Keep, the toll house on the way to Hades, with a giant ogre as its toll keeper."

* * *

Sir Orrin, Grenda/Grendo, and Mabel/Mabelle were sitting at a table in the inn, having supper.

"Innkeeper? Innkeeper, I say," called Sir Orrin.

The portly man came to their table. "At your service Sir Orin."

"How are my friends doing, down below?"

"I will look to them. I do not usually allow dragons in my cellars. But for you..."

* * *

Down below, Ford and Dipper had found the store of provisions. Their huge dragon bodies required meat, and they devoured ham after ham. Then they were thirsty.

"What's in these barrels?" asked Dipper.

"Something alcoholic, I think," said Ford.

"I shouldn't drink at my age," said Dipper.

"With our size it will only have a mild effect," said Ford.

But Ford was mistaken. After several barrels of potent drink, both were feeling the effects.

"More wine?" asked Ford.

"Wine not," said Dipper.

"This isn't wine. It's mead," said Ford.

"It's better than mead-ium. It's good. Let's sing that song again, the one we used on the sandmirks," said Dipper.

They both began to sing:

"I came from Louisiana  
With a banjo on my knee.  
Oh, Susanna, oh don't you cry for me,  
I've gone to Alabama with a banjo on my knee.  
Pluck-a, pluck-a, pluck-a,  
pluck-a, pluck-a,..."

Both were passed out when the innkeeper came to check on them.

* * *

The innkeeper went rushing back upstairs to complain to Sir Orrin.

"I am ruined! Those dragons, they've devoured over 100 hams, and at least 30 barrels of my finest mead."

"Tut tut, you will be well paid, said Sir Orrin. "Dragons have gold, you know."

"They have it with them?"

"You will be paid eventually."

"My father told me, 'Never extend credit to a dragon.'"

"Too late for such caterwauling," said Sir Orrin.

"Your rooms are ready. Will you finally go to bed?"

"Aye, good innkeeper. For we may not see another night."

"I'll show you the way."

* * *

In her trance, Unatainabelle spoke to her guardian, Coralinus.

"And lo, they sleep. An all too brief surcease, well earned. And but for the watchful moon keeping her vigil o'er the slumbering countryside all is still."

A moment later, she cried out. "Aah!"

"What is it child?" asked Coralinus.

"Something looms. Huge, terrifying. The ogre. Omhadawn has sent the Ogre Of Gormli Keep!"

* * *

Loud crashing noises upstairs woke the two dragons.

"Great Uncle Ford, look!" said Dipper.

The cellar was a disaster area, with food and broken barrels everywhere.

"Um? Ach'. What a terrible mess," said Ford.

"Did we?" asked Dipper.

"Don't admit to anything," said Ford.

They crawled up the cellar stairs into the courtyard of the inn. A body lay in the center.

"Look! The Innkeeper," said Dipper, "He was murdered. It's horrible."

"I smell ogre," said Ford. "I've encountered them before."

"Help! Over here!" called Grenda the elf.

"What happened?" asked Dipper.

"A big ogre broke in through the wall. I was in the soup kettle and he didn't see me. He went after Sir Orrin and Mabel."

"Are they all right?" asked Dipper.

"Yeah, he grabbed them and was spouting off about how anyone who wanted them back would have to complete seven unworldly quests. That's when I hit him in the back of the head with a chair."

"Where are they now?" asked Ford.

"Recovering in Sir Orrin's room," said Grenda. "Mabel said she needed comforting after that close call."

"That's Mabel for you," said Dipper.

"Good thing you were hiding in the soup pot," said Ford. "You saved the day."

"I wasn't hiding. I was licking the pot from the inside. I woke up hungry," said Grenda.

Grunkle Stan/Arrgh the wolf came up. "I think you did in that ogre."

"Oh-oh," said Grenda.

"Well, there's no cops in the forest. We take this to our graves," said Stan.

"We'd better press on before any more monsters are sent to attack us," said Ford.

"I agree," said Dipper.

Grenda went back to knock on the door of Sir Orrin's room.

"Come on, guys," Grenda called. "We're getting out of here."

"Oh, all right," said Mabel in an exasperated tone.

"Give us few moments," said Sir Orrin.

Soon the party was on its way again, passing Gormli Keep and into the realm of Omhadawn.


	5. The Wyrm's Turn

**Chapter 5 – The Wyrm's Turn**

Princess Unatainabelle murmured in her sleep as her guardian, the wizard Coralinus, watched and listened with rapt attention.

"Lo, they enter... the Realm of the Red Dice, where Probabilitor, now known as Omhadawn, reigns supreme."

* * *

Sir Orrin's horse whinnied and reared up as they came to a slow-moving green stream.

"Easy Lancer, easy boy," said Sir Orrin. "Just a stagnant stream. We can ford it."

"Wait," said Ford/Smerghol the dragon. "I know that smell. Don't go near it! Mabelle, take one of your arrows and shoot it into the stream."

"You want me to waste an arrow?" said Mabel/Mabelle of the Woodlands. "We'll need all we have."

"I'd do as he says," said Stan/Arrgh the wolf. "My brother's got the biggest nerd brain here."

The arrow instantly dissolved in the stream.

"What is that stuff?" asked Mabel.

"Dark magic, that's what!" said Grenda/Grendo the elf.

"Maybe, but it's also a corrosive acid," said Ford. "Much stronger than anything I ever ran into at the lab in college."

"I smell sulfur," said Dipper/Gorbasch the dragon.

"Yes, that's what I smelled," said Ford. "It has a sulfur base."

"You do speak in riddles, dragons," said Sir Orrin.

"What's causing the horrible crud?" asked Stan.

Out of the stream, which was much deeper than it looked, a huge serpentine form arose. It was so large that it dwarfed the dragons. It looked at them with beady yellow eyes from a hideous, huge-nosed face.

"What is it?" asked Dipper.

"A Wyrm Of Sligoth," said Sir Orrin. "Never saw one that big."

"Can we kill it? Chop off its head?" asked Mabel.

"Wouldn't do any good," said Sir Orrin. "Chop it up into a hundred parts and each one would live to spread the slime."

By now the Wyrm had moved around them in a large loop.

"Too risky to make a run for it now," said Sir Orrin.

"Of all the filthy..." said Mabel.

"Steady lass," said Sir Orrin. "Dragons, fly the others away. I'll remain and do what I can."

"No, there's a better way," said Dipper.

He flew up, nearly into the Wyrm's gigantic maw, and breathed fire into it. The fire exploded within the monster, destroying it completely.

Dipper landed, puffing a bit.

"Dipper, are you all right?" asked Ford.

"Yeah, used up all my fire though," said Dipper. "No lift left. I took a chance that there was enough sulfuric acid inside it to burn it up."

"That was a big risk," said Ford. "Sulfuric acid is non-flammable."

"Now you tell me," said Dipper.

"Don't know if anyone's thought of this," said Grenda. "But after all that, Omhadawn's sure to know we're here."

* * *

"Of course I know, you fools," said Probabilitor/Omhadawn. "I've even made scale-model action figures so I can plot your every move on my D, D, and More D graph paper."

"What's your next move?" asked Hot Elf, his henchman, who was watching him play.

"Perhaps they can handle ogres and wyrms, but let's see how they fare with a Major Depression spell," said Probabilitor.

He rolled his 38-sided die. "Ha! Got it!"

* * *

"No, no! Most terrible!" cried Unatainabelle.

"What is it, daughter?" asked Coralinus. "What does your mind see?"

"A grasping hand, dark and fearsome, to rob them of their will and courage. To take their hearts and extinguish all hope."

"A spell, an evil black magic spell," said Coralinus.

* * *

"What's the use?" said Stan the wolf as the spell began to take effect. "This is hopeless."

"Aye," said Sir Orrin. "We've killed a wyrm. What's that?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Dipper. "I'm starting to feel bad, but not that bad."

"I feel terrible," said Ford. 'I just want to lie down and give up."

"I'm just a little girl," said Grenda, collapsing. "I don't belong here!"

"I wish this woodland archer outfit came with a sweater so I could go into Sweatertown," said Mabel. "Is there anything in the saddlebag to cheer me up, like chocolate?"

Mabel rummaged in the bag, pulling things out at random. She pulled out a shining shield with a golden sun emblazoned on it. "Hey, when I hold this up it makes me feel better!"

"The Shield of Saturn!" said Dipper. "Yes, hold that up. It repels evil magic."

Mabel did. "Go away, bad feely stuff! You can't get Mabel down! Or any of us!"

A bubble of bright light flashed out from the shield, overcoming the black smoky hand that was overshadowing them.

"Mabel, you did it!" said Dipper.

All of them picked themselves up off the ground.

"Hurrah, and on with the quest," said Sir Orrin.

* * *

"How dare she!" fumed Probabilitor. "Foil my spell with a magic item, will she?"

A winged griffin came up to him.

"Yes, Bree-awk. It's your turn now," said Probabilitor. "Lead a legion of dragons. Attack! Demolish Devour! Burn! Grind them to dust! Go forth and death be thy destination! Doom. Doom. A flight of dragons! I command it! A flight... of dragons!

"Was that supposed to be a title drop?" asked the Hot Elf. "Because it didn't work."


	6. Denial of Magic

**Chapter 6 – Denial of Magic**

The party of adventurers looked up at the sky. It was filled with flying shapes.

"Look!" said Mabel/Maybelle of the Woodlands. "Dragons!"

"Dozens of them," said Sir Orrin the knight. "Led by a griffon."

"The odds are hopeless," said Dipper/Gorbasch the dragon.

"It may be hopeless, but, I'll take down a few of them before they get me," said Ford/Smerghol the dragon.

"Let me take my old enemy, the griffon Bree-awk," said Sir. Orrin.

"If I'm gonna die, let me die a dragons killer," said Grenda/Grendo the elf.

"No offense, Dipper and Ford, but I'm suddenly hungry for dragon," growled Stan/Arrgh the wolf.

"Wait, we've got a chance," said Dipper. "Sir Orrin, in your saddle pack, the tiny golden flute. Give it to Grendo."

"That's right," said Ford. "Coralinus said the music from it is supposed to charm dragons to sleep."

Sir Orrin pulled the instrument from his saddle bag and tossed it to Grenda.

"Can you play it?" asked Mabel. "I just sing; I don't play an instrument."

"Candy let me try her flute from music camp a few times," said Grenda. "I'll try."

The playing was highly off-key, but fortunately it didn't matter. All the dragons that heard it fell asleep, and they dropped from the air and landed gently on the ground. The lighter-than-air gasses within them prevented them from being hurt.

* * *

"And they are down, all the dragons," said Princess Unatainabelle in her visionary trance.

"Destroyed?" asked Coralinus.

"Asleep," said Unatainabelle.

"But an enchanted sleep," said Coralinus. "When they awaken, Probabilitor's spell over them will be broken. They will join us! The Polyhedral-Tipped Staff may soon be ours."

"Nay, Father," said Unatainabelle. "One still is awake. Bree-awk is a griffon; the flute had no power over him. He has blood on his mind and can take them all."

"Dipper and Ford will fight him," said Coralinus.

"No, Father. Sir Dipper and Sir Ford, being dragons, now sleep too."

* * *

"Awaken old boy. We've won!" cried Sir Orrin, trying to rouse Dipper.

"I've never seen Dipper as deep asleep at this," said Mabel with a chuckle. "If I had a marker I could draw a mustache on him."

Bree-awk came swooping down. "Puny scum of Coralinus! Prepare to die!"

The griffon bowled over the knight and flew at Mabel, who shot an arrow and missed. Bree-awk grabbed up Mabel in one claw and Grenda in the other, swooped up, and dropped them from a great height. They landed hard and didn't move.

"No!" said Sir Orrin,running to Mabel. "Oh, my darling! Dead!"

Bree-awk came in low to attack Sir Orrin. "I'll crush you both, you filthy crawlies!"

"You can't attack my grand-niece and get away with it," growled Stan, leaping at the griffon and biting him in the chest.

Bree-awk batted him away with a powerful swipe of his wing. Stan fell to the ground, another casualty.

"Grendo, my darling Maybelle, and Arrgh too!" said Sir Orrin.

He held up his sword. "Blade, with whom I have lived. Blade, with whom I now die. Serve right and justice, one last time. Seek one last heart of evil. Still one last life of pain. Cut well old friend, and then... farewell."

"Praying?" said the griffon with a laugh. "Now die."

Sir Orrin threw his sword in a desperate move as the griffon swooped in for the kill. Blessed by the paladin's prayer, it pieced a vital spot and the griffon was done for, but not before he crash-landed hard on top of Sir Orrin.

Sir Orrin groaned and reached out toward Mabel. "I would have... lived a life with thee, lassie. So now I die."

Nobody was left standing. With blue flash the wizard Probabilitor (a.k.a. Omhadawn) appeared.

"I am victorious!" shouted Omhadawn.

"Not quite yet," said Dipper.

"Well, well, well," said Omhadawn. "A player! How did you shed your dragon form, you filthy little man-thing?"

"As Gorbasch slept, I suddenly thought, 'Two things can't occupy the same place at the same time'," said Dipper. "Then suddenly I was myself again. I guess logic _is_ stronger than magic."

"Stronger than my magic? Hahahahaha!" said Probabilitor. He drew in his power, growing bigger and uglier, with seven dragon heads. "Lo! I... have gathered... the sum total... of the worlds evil... in one place. And that place is me. I am invincible! No magic is stronger! Give or take an error of 0.4."

"I doubt that," said Dipper.

"I can do anything. Test me. I can reach up and pluck down the Sun," said Probabilitor.

"You can't do that," said Dipper.

"Why? Why, you insect?"

"Why? The Sun is too far away. If you reach for it, you'd be reaching at where it was eight and a half minutes ago."

"Ridiculous. You cannot deny my power!"

"I do deny you."

"Deny me and you deny all magic. Can you do that? Say it."

"I... I can't," said Dipper. "I've had too much experience magic this summer to deny it."

"Then I win. All your scientific knowledge just makes a smarter brain for me to eat, to gain your intelligence," said Probabilitor. "That's what I do."

"I can deny magic," said Stan, standing up. "Magic to me means nothing but trouble."

"Grunkle Stan!" said Dipper.

"But you were the wolf, and you were killed by my griffon," said Probabilitor.

"Nah. I heard what the kid said and he's right. I'm no wolf, so I couldn't die as a wolf. I'm me, Stanley Pines. This is all some special effects in a nerd game."

"I'll make you kneel before me and snivel," said Probabilitor. "Come devils, witches, demons, ogres, trolls, sand rats, harpies, ghouls, sorcerers."

"Oh yeah? Come regular dumb human stuff. Come credit cards, oil changes, speed traps, tourist traps, deodorant soap, spare tires..."

"Aaah!" Proabilitor/Omadawn screamed as the litany continued. The multiple dragon heads exploded, and the wizard himself began to fade. "I'm turning into pure math! What are the oooooddss?"

The ground around them turned greener and the dragons woke up. Sir Orrin revived. So did Grendo the elf, Maybelle of the Woodlands, Gorbasch, and Smerghol, all with their original personalities and without their players.

"Behold my darling, the magical realm," said Sir Orrin.

"And look, it's Coralinus," said Maybelle,

The home of the wizard floated down and landed near them.

"I am home," said Coralinus. "We are home."

* * *

Inside the house, by the bedside of Princess Unatainabelle, the original group of players flickered into view.

"You did it, Stanley," said Ford. "You defeated fantasy with the power of the mundane. Now that you've denied magic, we won't be able to stay here. We'll return home in a moment."

"Good," said Stan.

"Yeah!" said Grenda, pumping her arm in the air.

"Woop woop!" said Mabel.

"Dipper, there's just enough time to wake the princess with a kiss," said Ford.

"Who, me?" said Dipper. He bent down to kiss Princess Unatainabelle, and her eyes suddenly opened.

"You? You're Sir Dipper? You're much too young for me!" said the Princess. "And if one of you two men is Sir Ford, you're much too old. Begone from here!"

With that, they all popped back into the normal world of the Mystery Shack living room.

* * *

"Well, she's not called Unatainabelle for nothing," said Ford.

"That was some game, or dream I guess it was," said Stan.

"Look at the clock!" said Mabel. "If this is the same day, then no time passed at all while we were there. Let's turn on the TV and see if we can still catch the Duck-tective season finale."

"I'll watch with you," said Dipper. "I need to unwind from the dragon stuff."

"I will, too," said Ford. "I've had enough DD&MD for a while."

Stan said, "Dipper, that game might be too nerdy for me, but it's just the right amount of nerdy for you and my brother. If you two wanna hang out sometimes, I won't get in your way."

"Thanks, Grunkle Stan," said Dipper.

"I want to play again some time," said Mabel. "That was super duper fun. I even almost got a knight boyfriend."

"It's usually not that... vivid," said Dipper. "It takes lots of imagination."

"I love imagination," said Mabel.

"I'll help you roll up a character," said Dipper. "But first, we have to make a lot of graphs."

"Oh..." said Mabel. "Let's just watch Duck-tective together, then."

THE END


End file.
